If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.