If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.