Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

Ain't fit for man nor beast

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.