I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Happiness means quiet nerves.

There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.