There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
I never met a kid I liked.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.