Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

I like children - fried.

You can't cheat an honest man.

No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.