I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.