Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.