I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.