It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.