It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!