When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.