I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
I never eat before breakfast.