Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

I never met a kid I liked.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.