Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.