There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!