If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason