I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
Never work with animals or children.
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.