I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

I never drink water... fish f**k in it.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.