I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.