A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.