There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.