The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.

Nothing recedes like success.

She's been on more laps than a napkin.

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.