A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.
Nothing recedes like success.
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!