What drives the creative person is that we see it all.

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

I watched a lot of comedy growing up.

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

Men don't hear women.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.