L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.

I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.

I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.

The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'

Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.