If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

Whatever I talk about is what I'm interested in at the time. Politics are big with me. But right now being a mom is taking up most of my time... My act is more family-oriented than it is about politics.

When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.