I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!

I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.

I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.

When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.

I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.

Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.