It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.

Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.

I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.