But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

That's proof right there that men and women are on different levels because men can watch two women together and that's a turn-on. It doesn't work the same way for us, does it, ladies? No, uh-uh - it doesn't work the same. You ask any woman in here her sexual fantasy, and I will bet you a million dollars that it's NOT to go home and catch your man bent over with some big, burly guy standing behind him.

I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.

To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.