But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.

The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.

The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'

I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.