With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.

I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!

I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.

I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.