I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.

With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.