I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.