I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.

You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.

Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.

Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, "Listen, you're not pregnant." I said, "Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.

I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!