I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.

I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.

You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.