I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.

You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.

I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.

white criminals commit the biggest crimes.a brother might rob a bank. a white man will rob a pension fund. the brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. the white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.

These CEOs, man ... If you're that ruthless, you're a scary dude. I tell you, now when I walk past a little gang banger, I don't even blink. But if I see a white dude with a Wall Street Journal, I haul ass. Before I walk past the Arthur Andersen building, I cut through the projects. If you cut through the projects, you may just lose what you have on you that day. I ain't never been mugged of my whole future.