There's times when I'm really shy, so these roles that I get to play, they're how I would love to really be. And that's why I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that's why it's my favorite thing to do.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I've told them, 'Mommy's boo-boo is much better now.'

I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.