Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.