Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.

Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.