Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.

Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.