Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.

A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.

Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.