The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.

The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.

Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.