I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.

Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.