The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I'm not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

It is my experience that the best way to deal with American politics is 50 milligrams of Zoloft 3 times a day.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

Voters want a fraud they can believe in.