Voters want a fraud they can believe in.

President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.

Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.