It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.

It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.