When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

We have the best Congress that money can buy.