Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.

If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.