It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.