You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.