The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.