The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.