There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

There is nothing that sets a nation back as far in civilization as prosperity.

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!

If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.