Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.