There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.

The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation.