I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No! They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.

Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.