I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.